I still remember the first time…
When your hand touched mine. I was sixteen and it felt so true..
Beguiling, misleading…we were both shy. I didn’t know what it was.
A letter in my book, I read it one night and I held it close to my soul.
Tonight I find myself thinking about the first time…the last time.
So I write a letter to respond, a decade later.
I burn it and away it goes. Hopefully, it comes to you. All the things I didn’t have a chance to say.
Tet holiday is coming and I am so excited about it. I like this kind of atmosphere when everybody is so busy getting everything ready for the big day. Sweet memories come rushing back to me. Sometimes you feel kinda strange, you feel happy and sad at the same time. You are happy because you have another chance to be united with your beloveds. You are sad because one of them is no longer there and you are so terribly afraid to lose them. Well, I am talking about grandpa. He’s gone for quite some years and I’ve been missing him every day since then. I miss the feeling of being loved and cared by him. Everything was so beautiful back then. Recently I become more and more worried about grandma. she is not feeling well and I don’t have much time with her. I had a chance to visit her some weeks ago, but I had to go and do what I have to do. Lovely grandma, she must be missing me so bad. This time when I am back, I will cook for her, I will just stay by her side. Forget about the parties.
I am so thrilled to go to the market with mom in the morning. I love looking at millions of people selling and buying things on this special occasion. The whole place is bustling with life and activities. This makes me happy.
Now come back to reality. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here. I just have no idea. Our life, no matter how meticulously it is planned, sometimes is just pointless. Once in a while I find myself silently crying it all out. I may be scared. I may be excited. All of these feelings. I believe in what I am doing. So just let it be.